Nature’s laws, deeper nourishment, and the pleasant edge of not knowing, my anchors back to balance
How do you cope when life throws you a curveball, like the sudden theft of your bike at a cozy coffee shop?
A Welcome Interruption
Coinciding with a desire for a warm and creamy pumpkin beverage, a mini gap between clients emerged yesterday afternoon. To quench it, I discovered a new coffee shop in the area. A welcoming barista, artistically crafted tables, the sound of good conversation in the kitchen, a gentleman sitting with his newspaper — I instantly vibed with ‘New City Cafe’
An Abrupt Twist
But I barely had a chance to smell the sweet fragrance of my delightful beverage when two young girls ran into the cafe to disrupt the vibe. They came to inform us all that the two bikes on the back of the blue car (mine) had been robbed! What a shock! They had been securely locked on the back of my car in anticipation of playtime at the end of the day.
The instinct to quickly get in my car and head in the direction the girls suggested the robbers had gone was strong. But Joe, the cafe director, had wiser guidance for me. So, I went to the police instead.
As I sat there waiting to fill out the police report, I became acutely aware of the tension and anxiety coursing through my body. Memories of past incidents where something had been taken without my consent flooded my mind, intensifying my sense of unease.
Facing Frazzled Nerves: Three Antidotes
To help me navigate those couple of hours of “wait mode” more lightly and courageously, I surrounded myself with these three good companies:
1 ’Opposite Qualities Balance One Another’
Instilled in me since my discovery of Ayurveda is a commitment to prioritize universal laws. In particular, I need to be aware of the law of opposites as often as I can, especially in challenging times.
2 ‘Deeper Nourishment’
Earlier this month, I carved out space for spontaneous guidance, setting an intention as I do each new moon. I attempted to reason this particular inspiration away. After all, I consider nourishment to already be a solid motivator for the ordinary choices I make today. Yet, as the moon grew in size up above, I continued to favor this sweet intention anyway.
3 “The Pleasant Edge of Not Knowing”
This is a term my dear friend Zora created to help her and her students overcome the tendency to attach “likes” or “dislikes” in the face of uncertainty. A recent and reoccurring conversation with her around this topic helped me cultivate a sense of curiosity and openness.
Now, let’s see if I can convey how these three helped me navigate my circumstances more lightly and courageously.
=====================PART 2==================
All Good Company Seamlessly Weaved Together
I called upon ‘the law of opposites’ to assist me in relating the stories swirling around my head making my nerves frazzled.
Instead of pushing them away and watching them grow stronger, I could allow them to dissolve by first acknowledging them. These voices in my head included: “I’ve been violated,” “Why are these cops taking so long?” and the most difficult one to hear, “I should not have (fill in the blank).”
My commitment to ‘Deeper Nourishment’ while listening did the trick because although thoughts like those tend to persist once started, these did not.
Underneath the now-dissolved impatience, however, was a touch of sadness.
So, I started by calling the owner of the other bike that had also just been taken, my sweetheart. Hearing his voice felt so soothing. I especially relaxed when I heard him say, “Can I come and be with you?” Though I declined, knowing that I’d be seeing and hugging him later that eve brought me to my pleasant edge.
Each of the people that came to mind while I sat there also helped me cultivate my pleasant edge. Amongst these were…
…a dear friend who’d just been through a significant loss, and I got to send an extra heaping spoon full of my love.
…the client I’d just seen before the coffee shop stop whom I’d had the opportunity to have served in the ways that felt so profoundly aligned and were still fresh in my mind. My three decades of lending a hand to individuals on a path to greater well-being came to nourish me in that moment.
…my current group of students on a cleansing journey. I tenderly rejoice in their commitment to growth and their willingness to do it, and my ability to facilitate these as a group from such a joyful place every time for over a decade now.
And this is how I put “The Pleasant Edge of Not Knowing” into practice.
=====================PART 3==================
And at some point came the ultimate reflection — I found myself reminiscing on magnificent experiences afforded by my adored two wheels. From back when I started to climb high mountains back when I lived at their feet, in CA, and little Yoda, the 9 Lb dog I had at the time, would fly (as in often none of his four paws would be on the ground), just so that he could tag along. I also remember more recent years, riding the magical woods in upstate NY, including emerging unscathed from the dreadful fall on the edge of that cliff.
Revisiting some of the hundreds of times in these thirty years that I’ve been able to count on my bike to instantly restore my feeling of complete aliveness bathed me.
It bathed me in the sweetness of balance and nourishment and was so pleasing.
Now, an overview of the five minutes it took to get that long-awaited police report.
Two police eventually arrived. One took a detailed report, reassuring me that they’ll do all they can to recover the stolen property. As we parted, the other officer wished me a good evening, then quickly corrected herself and said, “May you have a better evening.
Indeed, as the cop suggested, I had a good evening and an even better morning. Well, this was until I went to get into my car and noticed something odd ….
=====================PART 4==================
When I got home the night before, I locked my car and locked the garage. Actions I’ve never made together at home before. Recognizing that I didn’t feel as safe as I once had, brought on a cloud. The reality that I’d not be riding my bike that evening doubled the cloud. To add salt to the injury, I went to follow up on the police report but, of course, got nowhere.
Slipping ‘away from my balance’ andinto the “unpleasant edge of not knowing,” I stepped outside for ‘nourishment’ in the form of a breath of fresh air and to feel the sun on my skin. I experienced the dynamic of opposites. I pondered the pleasant edge and how to nourish myself and others. Coincidently, here is the text I got from my Papi right then and there:
“How can I be patient while waiting for the results of an exam?”
This synchronicity of two people who happen to score high on the impatience spectrum having such a timely exchange made my heart smile, and I replied…
“Not easy!!
Then, I invited him to join me in some of my practices.
No reply!
So, I pulled out the simplest tool of the three, nourishment, and continued.
“In case remembering how loved you are can help, here it is — I love you”
The surface cloud of impatience and even that more significant one just behind it, the sadness cloud, having now passed, I took another inspiration into action. I sent a breath of compassion to those two men whose life circumstances were such that committing robbery was the choice they made yesterday. May they come to remember that they are capable of making different types of choices today.
What about you?
What tools have worked for you when sitting under the clouds of impatience and sadness?
Update!
PS: A little beat up and all, look at who has found her way back to me!!
Fast forward a little over a week after the incident, I received a call from Nick, the owner of that same coffee shop, saying that my bike was left at the door of his establishment.
YES!
As much as writing about my experiences is rarely something I enjoy doing, I’m so glad to have followed that hunch the morning after robbery. It brings me such joy today to be able to come back to it and add this sweet little miracle to it now:-)
PS2: For now, my sweetheart’s bike remains missing, but soon we’ll be out there again together in bliss 
